Greetings, ya'll! Hope everyone's new year is off to a flying start. I just started back to work this week, and have auditions here in Lex-vegas for EARNEST this weekend. Advance word says it should be an awesome turn out...I can't wait!
It got me to thinking about the process of auditioniong and what a "pride swallowing siege" it can sometimes be. SO here's the question for this week: What was your best and/or WORST audition experience? This can be as an actor or from the director's perspective- or for you technical folks maybe an interview, or possibly an audition you sat in on? We are ALL INCLUSIVE here at the clone-spot...
And a big 'ole good luck to our good friend and fellow Boonie Jenny, who'll be giving birth any minute now! God bless you child- your world is about to get rocked...but in a really good way! (I'll withhold last names for privacy's sake, but many of you posters know of whom I speak! Drop her a line and wish her all the best...)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
36 comments:
didn't sister sledge beat out elvis costello for best new artist? hmmm....where are they now? anyway- worst audition, when I auditioned for that reese witherspoon movie, "Race to the Moon" or something like that. It was held at a club, The Cannery, ninety degrees inside, cattle call conditions,two lines of dialogue, and a hangover. I was happy not to get a callback.
I was going to say that Debbie Gibson song "I Think We're Alone Now."
I remember sitting on my couch, sick as a dog, sipping some hot tea when I got a call to "get my sick ass over to the DAC" to audition and sing for "MY WAY: A TRIBUTE TO FRANK SINATRA." Well, being the glutton for pain that I am, I trudged my way up to the second floor and sang a nasally, phleghm-filled rendition of New York, New York. "Jesus, kill me now."
Still, I guess they saw something, because I got the part. Then I realized that I had to learn to sing AND dance so I got sick all over again. Still, it was a great time. Shitty audition, great time.
My best audition was the first audition I ever had. It was for The Foreigner at good ol' Tater Creek. I remember sneaking into the back of the auditorium and watching people who obviously knew what they were doing thinking, "dude, there is no way." Still, I gave it a shot (glutton for pain that I am). Well, eventually Trish Clark (the director) gave me this sheet of paper and said to look it over because she wanted to see what I could do with it. Well it turned out to be the story that Charlie tells to Froggy and the others. This story is told in complete jibberish. You know what I'm talking about. (Later, Trish told me that she gave me this piece to watch me fall flat on my face.) I got up on stage and started. A little chuckle arose from the seats. So I made it a little bigger. A little more laughter. Bigger. Bigger. So by the end, I had eveyone in the audience howling with laughter and got a standing ovation when it was done. I remember hearing one of the guys who was one of TC's seasoned actors say, "Don't make me do that after him. Please."
I got the part, and the rest is history. I think Trish still tells that story to her students. I'll never forget that experience. But truthfully, I hope my EARNEST audition this weekend will be the best. :)
I can't think of any audition where I actually just grotesquely embarrassed myself nor one where I was treated badly or unfairly (dismissively, perhaps...which can often happen in a Equity Open Call where they're seeing two hundred or so people in a day...so I never took it personally).
I actually described my best audition experience on the Lex Theatre post the other day. I went to the Equity open call at the Ahmanson Theatre in LA for a Sherlock Holmes play, CRUCIFER OF BLOOD with Charlton Heston as Holmes and Jeremy Brett as Watson.
The director called me back purely on my looks and resume, I guess, because back in those days you didn't get a chance to perform at an open call, only be interviewed.
At the callback, he kept for a long time and had me read with several other actors...Most were getting their two minute reading of a scene and were gone. He took me aside and told me, "Of the 300 people you see at an open call and of 80 you call back, only a handful are real actors. I just want you to know you're one and I'm going to do everything possible to get you in this show." True to his word, he did. I was told that I and another actor hired from the open call were the first two actors to ever break the open call for the Ahmanson. I had a small curtain scene with Heston and Brett (which they generously threw to me) and understudied everyone from Lestrade to the main villain in the piece.
The other best audition experience I had was with my old mentor, Professor Charles Dickens, at UK. The show was DUCHESS OF MALFI. He was having private auditions. I walked in for mine. He said, "Not that I'm guaranteeing anything,but what part do you want to do?" "Ferdinand, " I said. That was it. I didn't read or anything. I left, knowing the part was mine...despite Charles' non-guarantee. We both knew he wasn't fooling anyone with that caveat.
Best audition experience I had from the other end was when I was directing my Sherlock Holmes play, THE EBONY APE, for Actors' Guild. I was told it was the largest audition turn-out they'd ever had.
That's good one Tim.....
I am very lucky that I haven't had too many terrible auditions..but here are highlight moments from some bad audion outcomes...or auditions with good outcomes that I thought were bizarre..
My favorite "thanks but no thanks" line from a director...(background: the part was a waitress which I really was at the time)
"Your too glamourous for this part and far too pretty..." ummm thank you?
Weirdest and somewhat humilating auditon for a film (I got a part but it was cut from the movie)
improv audition:
"Could you pretend you are a dog....ummm and you are looking for the perfect fire hydrant to pee on"
Worst musical audition...and for those of you who know me well, I get very nervous when I sing and I have to be very focused...
I had rehearsed and rehearsed a song from CHESS...but here's what occured:
Accompianist: "This is too difficult, can she just sing AMAZING GRACE?" UGGGGGGH! Adaptable musical actress I am not...
Director: "Sing it in a higher key....higher...higher..." until I sounded like Minnie Mouse on crack
Best audition highlight from recently:
Auditioning for X for SIDEMAN.
I was really nervous...for some reason...I had been on a short hiatus and hadn't auditioned for quite some time...so good to get back in the flow and so fun...Shayne and jal666 and just sweet comfy people. It was a blast.
Also, auditiong for HELLO DOLLY my senior year in high school in my cheerleading uniform (I had a game that night) I sang "So Long Dearie" and nailed it. What a high.
Can you believe that The Bats cover no Sister Sledge songs? Or Elvis Costello, for that matter.
Worst audition for me was for LMT's production of A Chorus Line. Must've been more than 15 years ago, but I still cringe when I think about it. I wearing a high-'90's bright blue spandex body suit (from aerobics class, natch)with black thong on top, plus the requisite black leg warmers. Can't remember what song I sang, but it went okay, but then we had to follow some god-awful dance combination (like you're supposed to do in a musical audition, duh), and I was completely outclassed. I gave it several tries, but soon realized it was hopeless, so I just kind of snuck out of the Singletary Center with my tail tucked between my cheeks, right where that thong had been. Ugh. I don't think I've ever been so humiliated. It took me a long time to audition for another musical after that, and I'd still never try out for another heavy dance show. Too painful. Plus, that body suit is WAY too small now.
My most embarassing audition (dear GOD...I've never told anyone this) was for AGL's Streetcar Named Desire several years ago. I didn't think I was old enough for Mitch (even though Spencer is a year younger than me), and I'm definitely not a Stanley. SO, I thought, what the hell...I can audition for the delivery boy.
I get to the audition and the stage manager hands me a Mitch/Blanche scene. That was all you got, Mitch/Blanche or Stanley/Stella. Well, I was a freakin wreck, and I had to read with a 75 yr old (yep I said 75) woman, who by the way...was dressed in a CRIMSON RED silk dress, complete with a red derby hat, high whore makeup, and red pumps. I'm not kidding.
She flings herself at me, reeking of bourbon and cigarettes. She's attempting to say Blanche's lines (the French lines) but instead she sounds as if she's suffering from Tourette's. She then precedes to kiss me (trying to force her tongue into my mouth) and wrapping her arms and legs around me. I had bright red lipstick ALL OVER my face. All the while, the director is walking around me in a circle. I don't know how he kept a straight face.
It's safe to say that I was a complete basketcase, I was shaking so hard and stuttering that I'm sure the director could not make sense of what I was saying. Obviously, I was not cast, and left thinking "I'll never audition again. It took a few days to get over that one.
The director came to see a show that I did this past spring and actually complemented my work, so I'm hoping he forgot that horrid audition.
X, if you think about it, you may be able to guess who the ol broad is. She's actually a great lady.
My audition for LSF's Fiddler on the Roof last year was pretty nerve wrecking. I had already auditioned for Cyrano/As You Like It, and thought What the hell...I'll audition for a musical. I'm not a singer AT ALL, but Fiddler has a couple of non singing roles. I didn't realize that I would have to sing at the audition anyway.
I've always had a HUGE fear of singing in front of others. Having a few years of dance training, I passed the dance audition with flying colors. The vocal audition did not go as well. I didn't have a piece prepared..so the director asked me to sing Happy Birthday. I quitely begged him not to make me sing, but he wouldn't have it. I sang (or warbled) my way through it while staring at some of the best singers in Lexington.
Thank God no one laughed. I got over my fear of singing in public that day, and I got the part of the dude that doesn't sing.
My favortie/least nerve wrecking audition was for Side Man. I had worked really hard on the script, and was really excited to read with Adam and Laurie. I'm usually too hard on myself, but I came out of the audition calm and collected, not wanting to throw myself in front of a bus... like usual. LOL
actually, tiffany covered "I Think We're Alone Now."
I'm sorry you know that.......
"Children...behave...."
"We tumble to the ground and then we say........"
jeebus.
Best: College. "The Cripple of Inishmaan". I worked on that Irish dialect for months. Let my hair grow shaggy. I had all but served notice on the rest of the department that the role was mine and I'd kill anyone who seriously challenged me for it. I got it.
Worst: I came in at the last minute by request, unrehearsed, and handed the accompanist a copy of "Ain't Misbehavin'"... then asked him if he could transpose it in the fly. He did. I had been singing blues almost nightly with my band, so I just let it rip. I stood there and made it a point to hit the friggin' back wall. Got the part, but was not too proud of how I got there.
I have never hated an audition more than "Streetcar" at AGL. I felt like I had walked into a Bar Mitzfah wearing a swastika. "Thank you. We'll let you know." I guess that is actually very common. I have strong feelings about that process, anyway.
I highly recommend to every actor I ever meet that they do whatever it takes to sit on the the other side of the table at as many auditions as they can. Do SM work, turn pages for the accompanist, anything. You HAVE to see what goes on when you leave the room. It'll forever change what you do in auditions. Once that mystique is buffed away by the Brillo Pad of reality... no more nervousness... or at least it gets better. You may even find that you start getting choosier about what you bother to audition for in the first place.
Worst for me was when I auditioned for The Stephen Foster Story in college. My voice cracked once and after that, everything went to crap.
I've had more good than bad, though, thank God. A good one was AGL's I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change. I had a lot of fun doing that show - even though it ran forever. I've had a few good ones out at WCTAA, too: Lend Me a Tenor and Guys and Dolls.
I'm one of those freakish people who love auditions, though.
BTW....I wish Jenny all the best on her labor and struggle with being a new mother. Nothing can prepare you. And, yes, theatre has to go on the back burner for a while. I've had to pick and choose what I want to audition for because I'm a mommy first and foremost. It's tough.
I agree with Mike, everyone should experience the audition process from the other side, because if you think it's hard for the actor; it's just as hard for the director and those casting.
Usually for every good actor you see, you see three or four who are mediocre or just plain lousy...or worse, utterly inappropriate for the role. Somehow every actor thinks they can play a 3'4" Eurasian Albanian dwarf female aviatrix.
When I was in Dallas, plying my trade in Dinner Theatre, I used to help out one of the directors at one of the chains with his auditions, reading against all the auditioners. It got to the point where other directors would ask me to come in and read with the actors at their auditions.
My goal was to give the auditioner center stage and something competent to play off that wouldn't get in his way, letting him rise and fall on his own ability.
As an actor, I've always preferred to have a reader or a stage manager reading against me, in the initial auditions at least. I realize in callbacks the director has to start fitting people up against one another.
But in a first audition, if I have a stage manager reading against me, I know I'll at least get a cogent...if not necessary inspired...feed to play against. I can usually control the pace and energy of the reading, because a reader is playing off me and is not trying to compete with me or upstage me.
When you play with other actors, your audition can be sunk through nothing you do, but purely on the vagaries of your acting partner's talent. There are those who cannot get any rhythm or pace in a scene. There are those who cannot find the sense of the scene. There are those who want to act out every stage direction...which is the bane of my existence (along with those actors who can't write a professional program bio).
We're at an audition, we not giving a finished performance. Don't touch me, don't try to kiss me or hug me, or mime hitting me or any of that other crap that's in those Sam French stage directions which your eye keeps wandering to and then losing its place in the script where the actual dialogue is, because you're trying to act out "business". Just try and give a competent, hopely vaguely nuanced reading (as nuanced as it can be at an audition) that has nice energy and appropriate pace and gives the director and me (reading opposite you) an idea that you might understand what you're reading and might be a viable possibility for a role.
I also hate having to audition with more than one other actor onstage. When you have three or more actors on stage at once, actors are rarely shown off to their best advantage and it's really hard to establish a rhythm or a nice individual head of steam, when you may just be throwing in the odd line here or there.
Ideally, I like to hear an actor do a short prepared piece of their own choosing and then give them a scene to read. That way I know whether I have a good actor who might just be a lousy cold reader and it gives me an opportunity to elicit something from them that might not be there if they just read. Time, alas, often doesn't permit this luxury.
Even in cold readings, I like to have a chance to look over the scene or the side for a few minutes before actually going in to audition. One, because I'm slightly dsylexic and have a tendency to invert words and just stumble over something I've never seen before. Also just because it makes good sense. The actor should be given a few minutes to get a colour of the scene and make his choices.
Also if you're reading with a partner, it might give you a few minutes to assess him as well and decide whether you're going to be able to work with 'im or going to have to work around 'im.
One especially needs these assessment minutes, if the play is new and they've never seen it before.
It think a truly "cold" cold reading is counter-productive. You cannot make sensible...even if they needs be quick...decisions about a script if you're reading totally blind. Every actor needs a few minutes to mentally prepare and attack the piece they're about to perform. Make their choices and then compose themselves. Some really good actors I know are terrible cold readers.
One thing I've learned about being on the other side is to give the actor enough time to relate the material before you have to make him jump through the hoop. When I've been in the director's seat, I've always chatted with the actor and then given them the scene. Called in the next actor or actors to interview and spend a few minutes with, before summoning back the other actor to read. As the day wears on, most actors are getting anywhere from five to fifteen minutes to look the scene or side over and figure out their choices.
For some, my style can be wearying, but I've always enjoyed auditions. Shooting the breeze, glancing over 8X10s and reading resumes. Probably because I actually like actors and have been on the other side too many times. I like to see an edge in my actors, but I also want them at ease.
I agree for the most part, Chuck- I do think, however, that as a director I'm not going to rule out an actor just because they have a crappy scene partner. I think most experienced directors know that's going to happen occasionally, and try not to hold it against the better actor. As an actor at auditions, you have to be prepared for such things, cause inevitably it's going to happen.(and a good, prepared actor is not going to let themselves be drug too far down by a bad one)
As a director I LOVE cold readings, cause it really shows me who gave enough of a damn to read the script beforehand and know what the hell they're auditioning for.
Youre right on the money about giving the actors time to prepare the scenes, and MAN do I ever hate the ones who try to act out the stage directions! It's an AUDITION people- not a fully realized production...
My best audition as an actor was probably when I auditioned for SERVANT OF TWO MASTERS in college. It was the first time as an actor that I ever really felt that what I was doing set the tempo for everyone else (the director later admitted as much) and it was one of those auditions I felt that I could do no wrong (as the b-ball players say, the hoop felt like it was about 10 feet wide)
One of my oddest and yet coolest was for THREE ISTERS in grad school. The director asks us all to come in with one line of dialogue from the character of our choice memorized. I chose the part (Andre- everyone and their mother wanted to be Tuzanbach- let that be a lesson to you kiddies- don't always aim for the flashy role) and said the line. After this was over she dismissed me and one other guy, kept everyone else and read them. I went home thinking "Oh well- so much for that"- In the next nights casting session (which I was in on as I was directing that semester as well) the director said "Well- first off, you realize you got the role of Andre" Stunned, I asked "In one line?" "Yep" she said- "Thats all I needed"...that was a good one.
I couldn't agree with and Mr. Pogue more. I think it's important to have a momemt to assess whom it is you're reading with to see if (as Mr. Pogue put it) you can work with em, or work around em.
I also agree with X that a good, prepared actor will not let a bad/unprepared actor knock them completely on their ass. (Unless the other actor trys to rape you)
I've thinks it's extremely important to read the play, study up a bit....so that you know what's going on in the scene(s) that you may be reading in the audition. I was appalled at the last play I auditioned for..at the number of actors who had NOT even read the play.
Tim, yeah...if the play is readily available and an actor auditioning hasn't bothered to read it, work on it a little, and come prepared, shame on him.
Still, an actor can't possibly know what sides or scenes are going to be read and, especially if it's something like Shakespeare, a few moments to prep, refresh, and collect oneself about the scene is always good. Then there are those who are dyslexic like me or just poor readers.
I suppose I should distinguish between a cold reading and a dead blind one...where you're just supposed to dive in without ever having seen the stuff. This is usually with new plays that sometimes just aren't available before an audition.
But even with a script which the actor should be somewhat familiar, acting is about choices and it's always nice to get a brief chance to make a few about the material before reading. And even when you're reading the play beforehand, you don't always know what part you'll be auditioning for and what you'll be asked to read. You can prepare...up to a point.
I also believe in not letting a bad actor undermine me. I always like to define my space with an audition partner and perserve my cone of energy. If an actor starts to encroach on my area or tries do "stage business" with me, I usually move and extricate myself. No scenes like the one described above, please...over-rouged women trying to cram their tongue down my throat.
I've probably been around long enough not to let myself get cornered or upstaged in an audition and am fairly nimble about "working around" actors whose ego or lack of talent or lack of perception can hobble you...if you don't keep on your toes.
Although Gods knows, it's been so long since I've auditioned for something, I could be woefully out of practice.
Yeah, you're absolutely right regarding what sides they'll have to read. That's why I always give actors time to look over and "rehearse" with their scene partner before they do it for me. I HATE directors who just throw you up there with no time to even look at the thing...
I have been privy to both sides of the audition table and the absolute most painful moment came when you directed Keely and Du at USM. I applaud actors who make strong choices at auditions and run with them but this particuliar actor felt it neccesary to use hand gestures and over the top melodrama when reading a scene which included graphic descriptions of how abortions are performed. I think men and women watching squirmed equally that evening. What made matters worse was i was videotaping the precedings so i had to maintain composure behind the camera. It was just awful. Some of you remember...yes???
I can cold read like nobodys business which to me just confirms that a good reader does not an good actor make.
oh and...your Servant audition was incredible. If you recall that was when we had just met. Your talent and charisma onstage were definitely attractive to me. And our audition together was HOT. I think we really got things rolling as far as chemistry that night.
Very true, my dear!
Get a room. Get a room.
Wait. I guess you already have one.
$
You K and D audition was HARDLY the one to which Joy refered!
Next time I see you we'll dig out the tape and have a good chuckle...
D$...i cant even believe you would think i was referring to your audition. Whats more..i rea lly cant believe you dont remember that guys unbearable audition. Its seared into my memory.
What i do remember about you and Keeley and Du....the body stocking. The fact that Tim got you, Mills, and Dre in those still makes me giggle.
I have heard more about D$ in that body stocking over the years than I ever wanted to. What's next? A muumuu? Geez.
Ok- time for a new topic!
Tim X often works from a "gutter trigger". Only when a thread has strayed too far from the original topic and deep into something that could get very ugly will he ride in on his trusty steed and post a new point of discussion.
Getting off the horse involves a smaller horse, a pony, a large dog and an oatmeal-filled Dove Bar.
Sorry man. You are actually looking mighty svelte. I just saw the word "horse" and could hear your Wilford Brimley in my head.
Fuck you, D$.
and on that note...........
tim, next position please
Yeah, tim , new topic already...you'd think you were busy directing a show or something...
Anybody up for listing our Top Five Favorite Full Frontal Nudity Scenes on Film? I'm just riffin' here, but since Tim is busy and all... (cough).
The theme is honesty here....
* MC Gainey in Sideways (proving that nakedness can be both hysterical and disturbing at the same time)
* Jeremy Irons in Damage (nothing like the reality of middle age mandom)
* Angelina Jolie in Gia (too skinny, too angular, seeing her waste away on film was just too much)
*Ewan MacGregor in a multitude of films...has any actor dropped trou more often then him?
Some porn flick about vikings.
Some porn movie about deviant dentists.
Some porn film with nothing but ladies in it.
Some pornography with twins.
Some celluloid porn with soldiers in it.
And there is NO beauty like a nekkid Harvey Keitell.
No, JAL I think MC Gainey has Harvey beat! GO USM GOLDEN EAGLES!!!!
Post a Comment