Well, things are tying to get back to normal. I'm back full time in the swing of things at work, and have started rehearsals for A PIECE OF MY HEART which goes up in late October. Logan is growing like a weed, and the missus is busy doing her thing in the world of healing arts... and onward we go. Joy , Logan and I spent a rousing Saturday browsing at the local mall, eating lunch at the food court (Chao Cajun...yummy!) and followed it up with a hearty late afternoon nap! And I LOVED it , cause it's the first day in weeks I've just been able to vege and do not much of anything...but MAN it's a far cry from what my Saturday's used to be like...it's strange: one day you're young and vital, partying your rear-end off and staying up all hours, the next day you wake up and BOOM- you're one of those real, bona-fide grown up types, with a job, family, BILLS, etc...granted I've been that guy for over 12 years now, but let me tell you - it's blown by awfully fast! For instance, Logan has his nine month check up next week, and it seems like we just had him two days ago! If time flies when you're having fun, I must be having a helluva lot of fun....cause time is like the FLASH in my world (Wally West, of course- there's one for you geeks!)
SOOOO- what I wanna know now is...as a theatre artist, has time made you MORE adventourous or less? Bolder or more cautious? What do you think?
ps- 10 points for the ref...I figured the game MUST go on, since it;'s soooo close and all...
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All my rowdy friends have settled down......but ya know the early years of parenting ARE alot like those partying years....your up late, there is wooping and hollering, someones always drinking and ya dont remember a darn thing most mornings.
Its like one big continuous hangover...true?
I admit our home is starting to look more like your bachelor pad days....dirty, cluttered, and there is never any food in the kitchen.
um....im no theatre artist....but i think im still just as adventurous as i ever was in everything i do. When i have the time to do anything...or the energy.
would you consider scrapping a good job to go to school in one's thirties MORE or LESS adventurous? Or leaving the security of blue collar work, with a family to support, to follow a path that MIGHT lead to teaching medieval studies in College bold or cautious. I think, in one way, the risks I take now are just as dangerous as turning up a bottle of Jack and ending up in the apartment of a befuddled Nigerian. Maybe not as dangerous to my health, but certainly they have greater implications for a wider range of people. Nowadays, watching the closing credits on Letterman feels like an adventure.
Less adventurous, for sure, in some areas, because I know the physical price to be paid for staying up too late, drinking too much, etc. And the price gets heavier the older I get; recovery time is longer, and, dammit, I usually have to work the next day. Plus, there's something kinda unattractive about some middle-aged woman getting too juiced--I tend to think of Elizabeth Taylor in "Virginia Wolf," and it scares the crap out of me.
However, that's not to say that I don't have my wild moments onstage and off. Being in a band gives you a lot of leeway for wildness. I mean, how many middle-aged women get to sing "Wild Thing"? There is definitely something to be said for making a complete ass of yourself in public, even if you are done with it by 11:30 or so.
And the other thing about being older: you give less of a hoot about what other people are going to think. That's pretty freeing.
So, what the hell, Liz, let's tie one on!
Time has made me much more adventurous as a "theatre artiste". But I think switching to writing from acting has also contributed. As a young actor, I was always very slick, polished, and facile and knew how to take, hold, and command the stage, but I don't think I was necessarily a dangerous actor...willing to take that extra risk. I think I sometimes did things that people might have thought were dangerous, but were merely like falling off a log for me or yanked out of my bag of tricks.
I think am...or have become...a very dangerous writer. And will go places I never went as an actor. In fact, I'd like to return to the stage at some point because I suspect my writing has probably made me a more dangerous...or at least more nuanced... actor.
Of course, time and age have helped with that as well. You get to a certain point in life where you just don't give a crap what anyone else thinks, less concerned with image and making a fool of yourself.
I guess at this stage in the game I am still pretty adventurous. I've got a few more responsibilities these days with a 9 year old, the wooden leg, and a Fortune 500 company to run but I still find the time to take that risk to see where it all goes. My last production, Some Things You Need To Know Before The World Ends (A Final Evening With The Illuminati), or as I liked to call it STYNTKBTWE(AFEWTI) was pretty adventurous since Ryan and I made it all happen by imagining, begging and borrowing (no stealing, mind you) and created a successful show from the simple fact of just wanting to perform the material together. The mountain went to Mohammed and Mohammed was good. So yeah, I think I'll be as adventurous as ever as long as I can find an opportunity to be adventurous. And the acting bug is currently nibbling my daughter (she has her first audition today), so who knows where THAT will take me. But believe me, I will never become one of those notorious "stage parents" like Dakota's mom. Man, was that annoying. And to this day she'll still take all the credit. Just wait until Dakota's first autobiography and you'll get the picture.
Heard a piece on NPR yesterday about how we all inevitably become "That Guy"- doing that very thing that we once despised and swore we'd never do. (Usually something our parents did.) That doesn't mean, mind you, that we do *everything* we once despised. Just that one or two things are "a bit more in focus" (thank you Tom Petty) with the benefit of maturity and don't seem so bad after all.
Somewhere in the middle of this radio piece I started laughing out loud. For so many years I had sworn that I would not end up with the typical nuclear family unit in a subdivided neighborhood. Now I am barreling toward that with full intent and at breakneck speed.
And I love it.
As a theatre... um... person, the best thing for me to do right now is just what I'm doing: taking a break. I know full well that I can not stay away from it forever. My sweetheart is more die-hard than I am (from a performance end, no less). But, right now I want to be at home. Somewhere in the future, when I am ready, I will find a place where theatre fits for me that does not involve college auditions, binge drinking, communal living, long evenings away from my sweetheart or setting someone on fire. There are a few scenarios that would fit the bill. Knowing me, it will mean doing something of my own.
I have to say, it is odd (but oddly comfortable) going from a life of always shooting for the next show to one where I place that show out on a hazy horizon. C'est la Vie.
On second thought, I think I would like to set someone on fire again. That was nice.
Wow...interesting query...
My life has gone back and forth so much over the past 10- 11 years it is very hard to put that roller-coaster into perspective.
So, let's see if I can narrow it down a bit.
I have never been overly wild...however, that perspective may be a bit off-center, as I was once invovled with someone who partied way to hard and fast and, in comparison, I was a bit of a nun. But when you have to "babysit" another person...it kind of leads to a certian constrained behavior. (in college, I was just wild in the sense of unabashed freedom to behave oddly whenever the mood struck...and I could stay up late with the best of them...Stephanie Kingston and I could be up for 2 days!!!!!!!)
So when the previous relationship ended...I kind of found a new wild way....something that I had held back before out of fear of being out of control of myself and the other individual. I tied a few on...and found that I don't have the same ability to hold the spirits that I used to....but oh, well.
As an actor, the ebb and flow of my life has certianly affected my confidence and process. When I came to audition for Sideman...I was a wreck after a year offstage. I felt the THIRD EYE looming larger than ever and was very citical of myself. Stop Kiss kind of found me back to my old sensibilities. I don't know. I think I look at my own work with a more educated eye and it has caused me to feel less free on stage. I criticize myself much more and lost the balls to wall and who gives a damn feeling of my younger actress days. I keep seaching for truth and simplicity and sometimes complicate the process instead. But, I think I am a better actress now...perhaps a bit more polished...and keeping it alive with the fear...(I have more expectations of myself and perhaps a false sense that the audience expects me to be good) But the mix is challenging and fun!
Scotty,
The 10 pts are YOURS! My wife , in a moment of sleep deprivation, forgot that she is ineligible for the game, thus her answer is null and void! And, knowing you, I have no doubt that you knew the answer anyhow!
I've entered the quiet time in my life. I miss being on stage, but that will come soon enough. And it's funny. I find myself thinking that going to bed on a weekday at 11:00pm is LATE. Well, I suppose that when you get up at 6:30am, your schedule changes. Even on weekends when my little guy is with his dad, I just want to relax: hang out at home, watch or go to a movie, veg, work around the house - all with my man, of course. It's nice to also meet with friends but since we're farther away from everyone, it's more difficult. All is well, though. I'm so happy being a homebody now.
(Getting a strange "The Ring" sensation. There's a fly crawling on my screen as I'm typing. If water starts pouring into my classroom, I'm out of here.)
When it comes to being socially adventurous (and that seems to be the theme we all are coming back to) I find that cocaine and crystal meth are the best ways to keep up. Oh yeah, and hookers. On meth and cocaine. And when you finally wake up from that binge, start over like it never ended. It doesn't take a lot of time to get used to, and soon you'll find you have a pretty good tolerance. And a need. For the hookers. Not the meth. Well, maybe just a little of the meth. And maybe a small RAIL of coke on the side, please.
PLEASE!?!!
I MEANT NOW!!!!!!!!!!
I heard a quote the other day from Nikki Sixx, of all people, the other day on some VH1 show or other...and he said something to the effect of , even though the drugs and the partying are gone and he's alot older now that he "still burns"...I get that...
Even though I'm MUCH more settled than I was even 5 years ago (unhappy in job + living in a resort area where the bars don't close till 5am central = LOTSA BOOZE!) I still feel that creative fire inside. I, too, have to choose my projects a little more wisely now, particularly my directing projects, but I still like to take risks and challenge myself...probably more than I used to. Something about getting older makes you wanna come out of your comfort zone and try new things. (at least it has for me) Perhaps it's the old mortality clock ticking away, making you realize you ain't got all THAT much time left, so youd better make good use of it. Something also about becoming a father- kind of makes me wanta be a better man all around.To me , you don't so that by becoming stagnant and obsolete, but by challenging yourself. Mikey is fond of refering to me as the "intrepid" TIm X...(probably becasue I've been known to take on about 6 projects at once)...I like that- and I like tackling as much as I can handle...guess it's cause I 'still burn"....or to quote the great Warner E. Hodges "I ain't done yet!"
Did I mis-read the question? "As a theatre artist, has time made you more adventurous or less? Bolder or more cautious? What do you think?" Suddenly, we're getting wistful reminiscences of youthful debaucheries.
Since when does excess equate with artistic adventurousness?
I was fortunate to have my late high-school, college, and early artistic career coincide with the era of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, but only the first was the true gift of the age and I never gave myself over to abandon.
I've worked with actors who were drunk or drugged on stage...it was never a "fun" experience and it was almost always bad theatre. Those who were habitual drunks or druggies off-stage were usually not demonized, brave geniuses with profound visions, but mostly self-indulgent, flatulent mediocrities who quickly faded from the scene.
While I've always been fascinated by and mourned talent that flirts, if not succumbs, to self-destructiveness (Barrymore, Kean, Flynn, Burton, O'Toole are particular gods of mine), I've always personally tried to subscribed to Flaubert's maxim: "Be regular and orderly in your life, like a bourgeoisie, so you may be violent and original in your work."
Not that I didn't sow my share of wild oats; and I can still stay up to the wee hours talking about Man, God, Life, and Art...But even that in moderation...And it has little to do with my artistic ambitions, but merely recognizes that the naive sense of youthful indestructibity and immortality are merely an illusion...if not a delusion.
I don't think that we are necessarily equating partying with artistic merit, just that when many of us began doing theatre in earnest we were in high school and college, thus the social scene and the artistic went hand in glove...
Oh, and btw- I know most of the folks who come to this board, and none of them are "self-indulgent, flatulent mediocrities who quickly faded from the scene"...nor were myself or any of them ever "drunk and drugged " onstage. I don't recall anyone saying anything to that effect...even as kids, we had more integrity than that!
btw the last post was me...forgot to post name!
Don't think I accused anyone here of being "self-indulgent, flatulent mediocrities" either.
I was just describing those type of "theatre" persons we've all have encountered who somehow equate being wild and tortured and overdosing on excess of all nature for talent.
That's why I was confused. The wild, at times, excessive behaviour of youth has little, if anything, to do with the adventurous spirit of art. We were all young and excessive in some ways, but hopefully most of us transcend that. I'm just not sure what detailing the undergraduate indulgences of staying up till three in the morning, partying, and drinking too much has to do with one's committment or passion to their art anymore than one's settleness or sedateness as they age and take on more responsibility.
The question was pretty straight-forward after all how has time changed you as an artist...made you more adventurous or more safe? Saying "I was a wild and wooly youth a few years back, but now I'm married and have a kid obligations" does not address the specific question. We all were wild and wooly and got more responsible as we got older. But how did it affect us as artists, did we get more dangerous or more cautious? Did we hone our edge or did we lose it? Did growing older stoke the flames of our passion or did it dampen it?
Well, I can't speak for anyone else,but in my own post I thought I was pretty clear...I feel compelled as I get older to challenge myself...part of this is probably mortality catching up, past of it IS based in the fact that I have a son now and I feel compelled to push and challenge myself in new directions and to not get artistically stale and boring with age, as unfortunately some do...and personally , for some I DO believe that wild youthful spirit many of us exhibited had alot to do with who we were as artists...certainly from a passionate side- I won't say that drugs or booze fueled our creativity( I'll leave that argument to the Rock stars) but the same passion that drove me to stay up all night and get crazy also drove my artistic engine... It's part of who I was, and it was borne out of the less than pleasant circumstances that I grew up in. It's part of that "burn" I spoke of ...or D$'s EDGE...it's one and the same...and it's also too goddammed late to argue this with someone on the west coast! (lol)
Maybe I'll feel different in the morning...
But we aren't arguing. In fact, I think I agree with most of what you're saying. And I think you narrowed down the point I was trying to make (...which admittedly was an aside to the asides that I think veered off your question)...that being this argument that drugs and booze and excessive wild indulgence fuel creativity...which I have found to be mostly malarkley. Most creativty requires discipline.
But, yes, that sense of youthful passionate curiosity and insatiable drive for sensation and information and knowledge that kept you wired and on edge and up all night because you didn't want it all to end certainly fired one's creativity.
Correction: In the previous post I said "most creativity requires discipline." Change that simply to "creativity requires discipline." Period.
OK, I do see that the original question/topic may have become a bit obfuscated, but I think most of us were riffing off the song quote, actually.
The subject of "actors who were drunk or drugged on stage" sprang up here. I think a departure from the intent happened with the words "on stage". I personally have no respect or tolerance for those kinds of people. I've known some. As a manager I worked actively to marginalize or fire them. If that's what we were talking about, then I heartily agree with Senor Pogue: take 'em out back and beat the shit out of 'em. They bump into things onstage and end up stabbing others. (Stabbing yourself is still forgivable, Lito.)
However, *after* the show... I'm making the beer run. (Well, not nowadays...)
As for Flaubert, I am reminded of Mr. Scott McElheney who was always quick to retire to bed after work, yet managed to keep everyone else awake with his incessant snoring! Thus the rest of us drink. When I think of Flaubert, I always think of Scott McElheney.
HA ! Good one, Mel!!!
I'm quite sure that I did not hear Mike talk about snoring loudly. Because that would be like - ah, yes, what do they say? The pot calling the kettle black?
Honey, you haven't heard this kettle snore. Back me up here someone. (Sorry, Mc. Wear it with pride.)
Aside from Mickey Smith (D$ ,you remember hm?) Scott has the snoring thing down to an art from!! I, myself , have been know to saw a log or two in my day, but Mac is like Paul Bunyun ging after the whole forrest!
However, even he couldn't compare to the great Mickey S....he was an old roommate of mine. Great guy, but MY GOD it was like a seismic (sp?) event! Mick would also sometimes let out one long, one minute snore without breathing- bizarro!
Wow...we're way off track again, aren't we? I need a new topic , stat!
A circular-breathing snorer. That oughta go under "special skills" on the old résumé.
Until you launch a new topic I'm rollin' with this one. I think beating dead horses should be an Olympic sport. (One of these days, when I am running for office and least expect it, some PETA activist is gonna take that outta context and hang me with it.)
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